From the Harbour to the Sea
A Workshop for men in mid-life looking for purpose.
With Hamish Mackay-Lewis
The moment I found out I was a father to a boy, I gulped. It wasn't what I expected to feel. “I've got to get this right”, was closely followed by more joy than I could contain.
I have an old photo in my drawer. I am 7 years old, in my grandfather's garden. My grandfather, my father and I, are all carrying swords, standing to attention. Two successful, decorated soldiers and some big boots for me to fill.
These are two giants in my life and it’s a source of sadness that we could never have a photo of the four of us - my son included.
Years later I joined the army. To this day I'm not sure how much of that was my own need for their approval, or the path already laid out for me, or to satisfy my own desire for adventure.
Confusion about who I really was, and a persistent sense of being an imposter, became the flavour of those years. I went to battlefields to prove my worth, and found they couldn’t give it to me.
I longed for a path that was actually mine, but didn’t know where or who to turn to.
Fast forward to a time when the army was behind me, but still, my need to ‘perform’ was not.
I'm standing in a windowless room in a local authority office somewhere in England. I'm wearing a suit that doesn't feel like me. My hands are sweating. There are ten people around the table to whom I am trying to sell something: counter-fraud software.
I’m selling counter fraud, but feeling like a fraud. This job had none of me in it. Right in the middle of my pitch, the product failed.
Ten pairs of eyes on me. Humiliated, I fumbled through an apology, gathered my things, walked out of the building, and stood on the pavement outside furious - mostly at myself.
"Is this what my life has come to?"
I'd arrived at that room through a series of junctions where I'd said no to myself and yes to everything and everyone else.
Fast forward 15 years, a boat load of help and just as many brave decisions of my own, and I’m leading men again — but this time in the battlefield of their own psyches.
I'm leading men again, but this time in the battlefield of their own psyches. My job is to listen and tell the truth. And I've come alive.
This isn’t really a story about fatherhood, but about us men dropping the performance and living from our hearts and souls in such a way that other men are inspired and feel permission to do the same.
That, in my opinion, is a legacy worth the risk of failure. The real risk isn't failure. It’s reaching the end of our lives still performing, and regretting that we didn’t let anyone see or benefit from who we are without the performance, or the armour.
So, this workshop is an invitation to pause, look more honestly at ourselves, and begin listening to the life that's calling us — not the next role, project or plan, but what and who is underneath all of that.
What the hour includes:
A map to help you navigate the choppy waters that often come to men in mid life.
A list of things that keep men from sailing into deeper and more purposeful waters, against which you will rank yourself.
A short teaching on the three kinds of purpose and why you already have one, even if you think you don’t.
A guided visualisation to meet a version of yourself that will guide you towards deeper purpose.
Time for reflection and questions.
Rather than a lecture on purpose theory, I'm offering an interactive experience, shared with other men navigating similar waters.
This is for men who
Have spent years building a life around security, expectation or approval — and have lost themselves in it.
Carry an ache for a bigger and more joyful life, in which they feel more themselves.
No longer wish to be defined by their job, but struggle to recognise who they are beyond it.
Often surfacing at a threshold moment: a career ending, a marriage straining, a milestone birthday, a retirement approaching, a redundancy, or a loss they didn't see coming.
What you’ll leave with
A clearer sense of what and who is calling you, underneath the next role, project or plan.
The felt experience of not being alone in this, with other men in the room, carrying the same ache.
One sentence, written in your own hand, that you'll actually want to remember on a Monday morning.
Dates
Wednesday 23rd Sept - 6-7pm
Wednesday 30th Sept - 7.30-8.30pm
Virtual, on Zoom. All workshops are free. There won’t be a recording, this needs to be experienced live.
“His harbour-and-sea metaphor does something difficult — it’s vivid enough to be memorable and structured enough to be genuinely useful, giving you handles you can carry into situations the session never touched. He holds depth and warmth with real skill. I came expecting a useful reflective hour and left moved. ”
“I found Hamish’s Harbour and the Sea workshop deeply moving, it stirred me in all kinds of ways. I am so grateful for the time and thoughts that were shared, and which will continue to inspire me.”
If something here resonates
For those who want to go further, the workshop is also an opportunity to learn about The Journey — a six month journey into deeper purpose. An adventure in recognising what your life is for and then living it.
About Hamish.
For over fifteen years I've worked with men at exactly these kinds of crossroads.
Drawing from ancient wisdom traditions and more contemporary psychological insights, my work is always in partnership with the natural world.
Groups are small, no more than six men. We talk honestly with each other, spend time on the land, and sit with challenging questions. One-to-one guidance is also available for those who'd rather work privately.
We look directly at the parts of you that want security and the parts that want adventure. All of them belong.
I believe the courage it takes to live more honestly grows best in the company of other men who are willing to do the same.
