The Unexpected Fear of a Son

I recently became a father to a beautiful boy.

It's led me towards a workshop I'm building for men. This and the next few emails follow that thread. Read on either way, if you'd like.

In the months that led up to his birth, I found myself wanting a daughter more than a son - or at least, I thought I did.

I've since discovered that I didn't actually have a preference for a daughter. I just had a fear of having a son. Boys tend to look to their fathers for approval and that comes with a certain weight of responsibility.

I wouldn’t have it any other way, of course. We are given, as they say, what we need. Maybe I needed a son.

Now I find myself thinking harder about what I actually want my life - and what I hand down - to be for. His arrival has been one of a few signs lately pointing me towards creating a space for men to share with one another their fears and longings. 

This feels quite charged for me, which is often, I find, a telltale sign of a doorway I need to walk through! 

So, on 23rd and 30th September, I'm offering a free workshop for men in mid-life looking for purpose.

Do you ever wake up one morning and wonder what the hell you're doing with your life? And what and who its all for?

Many of us wouldn’t admit it. We need to hold it all together don’t we, us men? Present ourselves as if we are bang on track. Until a crack appears: a redundancy, the sale of a business, a marriage under strain, a retirement approaching, the loss of someone we loved. And then the facade begins to crumble.